Reflection
by Kiseki Lin
Summary: FemSena. Another intake on how Sena could have been as a female in first person. Idea gotten from several other femSena fics.


**Reflection**

Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21.

Author's Note/Warnings: This is a reflection of Sena's thoughts and I fear that I installed more of my writing style into her thoughts, so be forewarned of that.

I have a major thank you to Shin-chan. She really helped me doing this, and deserves as much credit for this as much as I do. She's an awesome beta! I don't think I could rely on anyone to pull off a miracle like this for me. Thanks a bunch, Shin-chan!

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Life in the beginning wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all. My parents had always told me that I was a beautiful baby, and the claim grew as I grew older. I had admirers from afar, from up close. But at the same time, I was constantly hassled by envious females, for reasons I never really knew. me. I couldn't understand it, I mean – I know I'm selfish and self obsessed in thinking this, but I always wanted to know this – why? I didn't do anything to them, why did they bully me? Questions swirled in my mind, never stopping, never ending.

But no matter how many times I asked myself the same question, I never got my answer. I guess I was destined never to fit in with the girls or understand how they thought. It hurt being ostracized like that but I suppose I was better off because of it.

Junior high school was some of the worst years of my life. I was always treated like a glass doll, fragile and delicate by all those boys that gave me those looks, the ones that made me deeply uncomfortable. I guess I was lucky that by then Riku had taught me how to run and Mamori-neechan gave me check ups five times a week to see how I was doing.

I hated the looks. But, in the end, I just grew used to it. It was kind of necessary, you know?

In all honesty, I've never been fond of my far too mature physique. I hated it even more when I realized just how hard it was to keep my balance when playing football. If it weren't for the fact I bound them with bandages, they'd get in my way (and I still don't know how Mamori-neechan deals with them so easily) being as sports orientated as I am.

Make up, shopping, anything akin to that- I hated it. It wasn't me and it never could be, no matter how many people wanted me to be their perfect princess. I'm an American football player and nothing would ever change that. They said I could turn pro with my legs and while I have no idea what path I find myself traveling down but there was one thing I was certain about- football will remain in my heart for all of eternity.

I suppose I'm lucky I have speed as my weapon, even if 4.2 seconds was seemingly my limit- so many times I had ended up in situations that could've ended being disastrous – but my legs had always managed to take me to safety. Mamori-neechan couldn't remain my protector forever, no one could. I had to protect myself.

All through my life, being bullied dragged me down, but enabled me to train, train this magnificent talent to the point to where I could run at the speed of light. Ten years of training by being a gopher…with determination and the will to continue on, I learned the value of hard work. And it paid off.

Meeting with Hiruma-san changed my life. It was because of him that I began having friends and I was no longer shunted to the corner as the pretty girl servant. As I became more prominent in the football world, I shattered the image of being the typical trophy girl. I met friends who treated me with care, who held me in high regards but didn't treat me like fragile glass. I even got a family, the Deimon Devil Bats. The best thing for me was that I wasn't alone anymore.

We all took care of each other, even if half of us couldn't admit it. The bonds we formed by going through hell and back with each other grew stronger as time wore on. We never once regretted the path we'd chosen. Hiruma-san, he gave us a purpose even though at first it was for his own agenda. We're teammates, comrades, allies and family…we would have never gotten as far as we have if even one of us were missing.

Going against team after team, particularly the Ojo White Knights and the Seibu Wild Gunmans, made me realize how much I've grown since I first started. I was finally able to beat Shin-san and Riku-kun; feats I never thought that would be possible! But I did it, and I've never felt prouder when I finally beat them, with the speed of my legs.

Both of them – Shin-san and Riku-kun, they've always been there for me if I asked, Riku-kun especially. They never failed to give me advice or cheer me up when I needed it and were always patient when I pour out my problems. They were always my first and foremost reason why I trained so hard. Even I admit to having several selfish reasons. I just wanted them to be proud of me, as every time I tried to catch up with them, they seemed so far away. I've proven to them that I've grown since they each knew me. And since then, I could see clearly at how much they were proud of me.

Now it's time for the game against the Teikoku Alexanders. I'll prove to everyone that I'm not a fake. I will beat him with my running! I know I'm faster, but he's so much stronger, taller, and wider than I am. Nevertheless, like Shin-san and Riku-kun always told me: "Nothing can compare when they're not even able to touch." Everything that was taught to me, everything that I engraved into my memory to pitch forth the determination to win the Christmas Bowl

I won't let anyone down, we will win even if we die. None of the hard work we did will be for naught. I'll push past my limits and go through a dimensional path that hasn't been seen since it's originator, the fourth dimension.

_I will become the real Eyeshield 21!_

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I've seen fics that have a really mature and pretty looking Sena so I thought: 'Why don't I try to make a little of something like that too?' Hopefully this didn't turn out as horrible as I think it did. Mainly sticking to a lot of canon by not knowing anyone previously and having still been bullied (except by females).


End file.
